A 100-year-old lecture on nagging
I've had the pleasure of going through our archives -- I blogged about some great stuff I found on the Sea Bright-Highlands bridge last week. But the headline on the women's advice column from Feb. 4, 1907, really caught my eye: "Managing a Man; Good Advice About Nagging, Even Though it Be Hard to Follow."
It opens: "The best time not to nag a man is when he's down -- when he's suffering from the consequences of his own fault. Let him alone then if you never do again. Do not be afraid that he is not aware of his sins. He probably is. He probably has not an excuse in his own mind for his conduct, but if you begin to nag him all his human nature will rise in rebellion against the implied 'I am better than thou,' and he will justify himself, even though it be silently." It was credited as coming from the Philadelphia Press.
After cracking up at the headline, I have to admit the advice still sticks, but more as a way of treating each other, not how to delay a good nagging session. Don't kick somebody when they're down. How often have we heard that?
The advice continues to instead help someone when he is down, "not with ostentatious virtue, but try some sensible, practical aid to getting out of the trouble he has brought on himself. Don't act holy yourself, but lend a hand. Then, when the trouble is all over, don't rub it into him. More than likely he will confess to having been a beast."
Yes, we know when we screw up, and nothing hurts more than having it rubbed in our faces. And we also know how tempting it is when someone else has screwed up to lecture about it ad nauseam. The advice ends with:
"Your attempt to coerce a man and to drive him down some road of your making will surely wreck the cart. No individual has a right to attempt the control of another. Strew your own road with flowers of kindness and courage and the weary traveler will wish to walk therein with you."
Not bad advice, 100 years later.
It opens: "The best time not to nag a man is when he's down -- when he's suffering from the consequences of his own fault. Let him alone then if you never do again. Do not be afraid that he is not aware of his sins. He probably is. He probably has not an excuse in his own mind for his conduct, but if you begin to nag him all his human nature will rise in rebellion against the implied 'I am better than thou,' and he will justify himself, even though it be silently." It was credited as coming from the Philadelphia Press.
After cracking up at the headline, I have to admit the advice still sticks, but more as a way of treating each other, not how to delay a good nagging session. Don't kick somebody when they're down. How often have we heard that?
The advice continues to instead help someone when he is down, "not with ostentatious virtue, but try some sensible, practical aid to getting out of the trouble he has brought on himself. Don't act holy yourself, but lend a hand. Then, when the trouble is all over, don't rub it into him. More than likely he will confess to having been a beast."
Yes, we know when we screw up, and nothing hurts more than having it rubbed in our faces. And we also know how tempting it is when someone else has screwed up to lecture about it ad nauseam. The advice ends with:
"Your attempt to coerce a man and to drive him down some road of your making will surely wreck the cart. No individual has a right to attempt the control of another. Strew your own road with flowers of kindness and courage and the weary traveler will wish to walk therein with you."
Not bad advice, 100 years later.
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