Neither a borrower nor a lender

I hate teaching fiscal responsibility, but it's something you have to do. I know too many people who get into trouble long into adulthood from poor saving and spending practices.
My teenager didn't work over the winter. After his job ended in the fall, he survived about three minutes on what he "saved" from the summer, then failed to get another job to pay for "extras" throughout the winter. That included Christmas. He suddenly needed to buy everyone he knew a present. Too bad. I helped him buy his girlfriend a present but that was it. I had been telling him since early November that he needed to get a job if he wanted that kind of spending money, and he kept saying he would find one. Two weeks before Christmas he got busy and applied at two places before realizing nobody would hire him two weeks before Christmas. He skated through the winter, living on some babysitting money and "loans" (now mostly forgiven) from us.
He's back to working now, and has started to pay off the debt I absolutely won't "forgive" that he accumulated with me over the winter (i.e. girlfriend's presents, broken cell phone fee, overuse of data and text messaging). But his last paycheck was light, from when he was still in school, so he didn't apply any to what remains of that. The other day we had a talk about college, and I said that once he's getting his full paycheck, he should get a checking account for his spending money and put the rest of it in his savings, with the passbook held under lock and key. There's $30 in it, leftover from last year, that I actually took off the debt that he owed me, provided that it's money that will stay socked away.
So during our conversation, he mentioned that of the $200 he got a week and a half ago, he's loaned out money left and right to his friends, now everybody owes him money. "Bad idea," I said. "Don't loan out your money, you probably won't get it back."
So this morning he calls and asks if he can get the passbook so he can "withdraw" $20 of the $30 so he can go out to lunch with friends. "Actually, that was my $30, not yours, and I'm leaving it in your account so you'll start saving toward college. So why don't you collect from all those people you've been lending money to instead?"
"But they don't have jobs!" he said.
Exactly. And you aren't a bank, or their parents, I explained. And now, you're likely out money.
Lousy lesson to learn, but one worth remembering.

Goodbye, from here

I'm going to have to go buy a lottery ticket tonight. Nothing that'll make me wealthy, but I'm going to play 165, straight. Heck, maybe I'll box it and spend a whole dollar.
This is my 165th, and last, blog on the Opinion Page. I'm moving. Not far, but away from this page. I'll be blogging on our new Web site, www.jerseyshoremoms.com - best blog title I could come up with was Mom in Motion. The other two blogs are Teen Talk and the Diaper Diva, Clare's Blog just didn't sound right! Anyhow, my coworkers say it aptly describes me. The only time I sit still between 6 a.m. and 11 p.m. is when I'm typing. But I'll be blogging about topics of interest (I hope!!!) to moms, working or not, who balance family, home, activities and all the other stuff in this hectic world we live in. We just launched the site Sunday at www.jerseyshoremoms.com. I'm really excited about the new site. I'll be blogging with two other moms. One has a very young child, the other has older teens. My family runs the gamut. The site also has forums up and running. Sign on and join the chat.
In the last year or so, I've waffled between blogging about home/family issues to politics. I'm going to stick to mostly the home/family/school/parenting stuff in my new digs, although I'm sure I'll go off topic from time to time when something from the news side fits right in.
C'mon over and see me sometime.

A lesson in courage

Reading over the words of Kathleen Weinstein, abducted and killed almost 11 years ago, I'm in awe of her. In what had to be the most terrifying time in her life, she held it together, and she got great identifiable evidence against her killer while secretly tape-recording their time alone in her car after he carjacked her and before he smothered her to death in the woods.

She managed to get details about his life, where he was born, that his parents were in the military, his first name, his mother's problems with her hands. And she did what I imagine any psychologist would tell you to do - have this creep see her as a person. She brought up God, she brought up wanting to go back to her 6-year-old son, she told him she could help him get a job, she talked about his own mother.

Many people, I imagine, would be too terrified to speak, or do more than beg to be let go. Kathleen Weinstein, knowing she was in great danger of losing her life, was tough. She got the tape recorder going, taped their conversation then hid the cassette in her pocket. What strength and courage. And what a loss.

I'm so glad that tape was deemed admissible as evidence. She deserves to have her voice heard this one last time, to identify the man who so heartlessly killed her, just so he could have her car.

To the person who stole my stuff . . .

Sunday morning, my husband decided to take the kids out for breakfast. We went to church Saturday night, the kids had no Sunday School, so I opted to stay home and finish cleaning the house with no "Mommmmmmm!!!!" interruptions. Why he decided to take my car, I don't know. But tucked into our carport on a cold Sunday morning, it was probably more inviting. But he's not used to my car. As the little ones took off toward the restaurant, he thought he hit the "lock" button. He must have hit the window button.

So, this is to the person who decided he or she had every right to open my car door and take my pocketbook: Didn't get what you wanted, did ya? No money. No credit cards. A worthless checkbook. (Trust me, there's no money in there either, but the bank knows about it already.) My driver's license (first time I ever had a good picture). My BJs card (they know about that too). My makeup (if you use that, well, you're just gross). My basketball tickets (for that alone, you deserve a special place in hell). A couple of pens.

You probably cursed me out for not providing you with some quick cash, eh? Well, I cursed you out too. A lot. I'm still doing it. You've probably tossed my meager belongings into a trash can already. I'm still stuck with a pit in my stomach, knowing that some creep took my stuff.

I was robbed once before. A classmate at Seton Hall stole my wallet from my pocketbook. He got about $3. But he gave his girlfriend my driver's license, back when there were no photos on them. She was under age, so she took her college ID and got my name typed in over it, then used my ID to get into bars. But she wasn't exactly the sharpest tack in the box. My license had my Avon address on it. This dingbat went to a bar in Belmar, where my brother's friend was working as a bouncer. He told her she wasn't me. Ms. Vapid tried to indignantly say that yes, she was. He told her he knows me, and that she was definitely not me (she was about 5-foot-2 and blonde - the reason for all those jokes) and I'm 5-foot-7 and brunette. Although they had a cop waiting inside, the guy was worried that I may have allowed her to use my license, so he held onto it and told her to take off.

What bothered me the most wasn't my license though. Her boyfriend stole my wallet a few months after my little brother died in a car accident. I had taken all my photos of him and put them in my wallet. Those were irreplaceable.
So thanks, creeps. You got nothing. I got heartache and headaches. Thanks.

Catchy commercials or annoying ads?

While I was watching the Super Bowl, the Geico ad with the cavemen came on. Since commercials were a hot topic that day, we all launched in on our opinion of that campaign. I think it's a riot. I can't believe they've been able to carry this theme so long. As soon as the commercial came on, my friend Mary started laughing too, saying she was surprised they've kept it going, but that she gets a kick out of it too. It's so strange, it's funny.
On YouTube, I saw a commercial featuring the Geico caveman golfing with Phil Simms. And there's a Web site now, http://www.cavemanscrib.com/ ... where you can take a virtual tour of the cavemen's apartment.
A few people thought the caveman series was the dumbest ad campaign going. Silly discussion, I know. But that exasperated look he gets when he's fighting for caveman-appreciation, and the "hey, check me out" look he had in the airport when he was trying to see if anyone noticed that he was the guy in the advertisement sign in the airport just crack me up.
Another bizarre ad that I stop and watch each time is the sleep-aid ad with Abe Lincoln and the Groundhog waiting for the guy to fall asleep so they can play chess. Has anybody noticed the guy in the old-fashioned diver costume behind them at the end? Strange! But catchy.
The Geico gecko, however, I've always thought was annoying. But they get the name recognition from all this, so I suppose their ad agency is earning its dough.

In the eyes of the beholder

I didn't have it too badly Wednesday morning with the weather. School was canceled for my high-schooler, and my younger ones had a delayed opening that delayed my arrival to work. By the time I got them all settled, the roads were pretty clear.
Looking across Route 66 from the newsroom, I remarked to several people how beautiful the view was. The trees were encased in ice, glowing against the dark blue, cloudy sky backdrop. With the late afternoon sun cutting through, it really looked incredible.
Not everybody agreed with that opinion. Those who were still without power, those who were chilled to the bone because they had to dig the ice off their windows, and those whose 20- to 30-minute commutes took triple the time didn't share my view.
I guess it's all how it affects you that day. I really like snowy days in the winter and thunderstorms in the summer, but only when I can watch the wild weather from the safety of my home. If the power goes off, lighting candles and looking up and down the streets to see how far the outage goes is exciting for the kids. The last time the power stayed out, it was bedtime and we all camped in one room, which was fun. Kind of. Fortunately, it didn't last more than a few hours. The only time I can recall being without power for days (the 1992 nor'easter), I was a little more like some of my coworkers today, and not so enamored with Mother Nature.

Does NJ even HAVE a slogan now?

New York is looking to upgrade its "I Love New York" ad campaign. Officials are seeking marketers to help them take advantage of new media, such as text messaging and podcasts. I can see podcasts, but text messaging?

I wonder if the governor has the "I Love New York" jingle as his cell phone ring tone.
I remember the first few years of that campaign - it started in 1977 - with all kinds of celebrities posed in different spots of New York singing to the jingle.

The only New Jersey ad campaign I can ever think of is "New Jersey and You, Perfect Together." And it's always with former Gov. Kean saying it. Do we even have any campaign or slogan now? I remember the fiasco a few years back, when they paid an ad agency a fortune to come up with something, and it was almost insulting, something like "New Jersey, We'll prove you wrong." That was followed by a contest opened up to residents. The state picked five lame choices for the rest of us to vote on. I think it was something like "Come see us now." Didn't that one get canned because it was too similar to another state's?