A "Sixth Sense" in personnel department heads

Remember the kid from "The Sixth Sense" who whispered "I see dead people" to his shrink, portrayed by Bruce Willis? Apparently, the personnel directors from the Newark and Camden city school districts have that ability too. Camden spent more than $330,000 on salaries to late - we're not talking tardy - employees, some of whom were dead up to 30 years before their termination dates. Didn't anybody notice they were missing?

Newark, where officials objected to auditors for calling some of their expenses questionable, spent more than $310,000 in payroll for 28 dead employees. I want to know who cashed all those checks. If they've been pushing up daisies for as long as some of Camden's employees, direct deposit doesn't factor in there. Newark also purchased a jukebox for $1,795. Officials said that was for a "planned student center." Key word: planned. Right. Who buys a jukebox when they haven't put up walls yet?

Jury duty-lite

A recent news article on new questions that will be asked of those called for jury duty made me remember my duties past. Plenty of people I know have never been called. I have - four times. The first three times, I had to report for at least most of the week, usually getting released Thursday night. Heck, the first time I went - many, many years ago before I gave up cigarettes - there was a "smokers' room" behind the jury gathering room.

The last time I went, it was only for one day. Bummer. But for today's jury duty, you call in the night before, then only go if your number is within the group they bring in. I know it's more convenient all-around, but I got a little nostalgic for jury duty of days gone by. It was a week's break from work and kind of fun.
Each time, I was tossed in with a bunch of strangers and wound up with "jury buddies." We'd hang out and chat in the gathering room and sometimes went to lunch together.

I met some characters. I remember one guy who told a judge that he didn't think he could be impartial on a case that involved a guy who was inebriated and showing off in front of his girlfriend on his motorcycle because he thought "between the hooch, the hog and the hormones, that guy's guilty!" That's one way to get quickly released from the jury box!

Should there be an age limit for mothers?

Everyone has to agree that this woman might just have gone a little too far: A woman from Spain gave birth to twins last month at age 67. That raises an eyebrow, but, hey, people live longer and are healthier, so that doesn't really concern people too much. And there are plenty of dads who are well into their 70s with newborns. Why shouldn't women be able to start families later too?

Then you hear that she lied about her age to the California in-vitro fertilization clinic - the highest limit I've heard for such clinics was 60. She told them she was 55, the limit at that particular clinic. That raises another eyebrow, but some say, "Hey, more power to her if she looks that good." I was still somewhat OK with this story. But then you hear she's a single mother who has now decided to start looking for a dad for them - somebody younger who can help her because, as you can imagine, she's pretty exhausted.

That sends both eyebrows up. Those who don't yet think she's out of her mind may say that perhaps she's at least well-off, someone who will be able to afford the help and such, or that she is surrounded by helpful family members. Nope. She sold her home to pay for the fertility treatments. Her sister-in-law has been staying with her, but the new mother is planning to move, and her friends are worried how she'll cope. The new mom is retired and living on a small pension - and remember, she sold her home.

She told a reporter that she's sure she'll be able to cope, that "When they begin toddling I'll get one of those playpens and put them in there." She has no idea what she's in for.

Therapy for being a bone-head?

What do you make of this? It's big news today that Isaiah Washington of TV's "Grey's Anatomy" is entering counseling because he used the word "faggot."
Now unless you're talking about a cigarette, that word is entirely unacceptable. But therapy? Lots of people say stupid things once in a while or have an intended joke really tank and come off as insensitive. Do you have to go through counseling to figure out why you said it, or do you just say, "Wow, that was a really idiotic thing to say, and I'm really sorry. I truly wasn't thinking."
I didn't watch the Golden Globes, so I don't know what the context was, or how it was used, other than he made the slur in reference to a castmate. He has since met with leaders of the gay community to talk about it. And he apologized very publicly. But therapy? I understand the TV show wants out of the controversy limelight. But therapy?
Isn't that a bit much? If it's not, then most of the fourth-grade boys in the country should probably join Washington in some group sessions - if I recall correctly, that's about the time it briefly becomes one of their favorite words. Before anybody smacks me for that - again, it's not OK. But therapy?

A grandfather clause for corruption?

The state Senate Monday finally passed a bill that would make public employees and officials who committed a job-related crime forfeit their pension. But the penalties would only apply to crimes committed AFTER the bill becomes law. Of course! So now those former public officials -- think Operation Bid Rig and the like -- who are heading off to state prison after taking thousands of dollars in bribes can do their prison time and come out and collect their taxpayer-supported pensions. Hey, they weren't told they could lose their pensions when they broke the law, right? So it's unfair to tell them after they ripped off their constituents that they can't expect the state's taxpayers to fund their retirement.
And, of course, it only applies to the job tied to the crime they committed. If they hold a bunch of public jobs, they're eligible to collect from all the others.
That's really showing them the error of their ways, huh?

Who could portray the McGreeveys?

Pretty inactive blog this week ... sorry, a nasty cold really slowed me down ... something's gotta give! I'm much better now, and I have some inspiration from, of all things, a McGreevey.

I see that Dina Matos McGreevey is writing her version of Life with Jim. I can't blame her. She said there's been so much speculation about her married life, and "Enough is enough."

What I'd like to know is why did she have a larger-than-life grin on her face while Jim was giving his "gay American" speech? As someone put it at the time, she looked like he was accepting the Nobel Peace Prize. And even better - what was her expression, and what did she say, when the door closed behind them after they left the podium?

Actually, I'd rather read her book, "Silent Partner," than her ex's. His book has already been spotted on the "drastically reduced" table in bookstores -- it only sold 36,000 copies. So much for going on "Oprah."

Dina's book probably won't have much more success, but she could probably get a nice sum if it's made into one of those made-for-TV movies. Who would play Jim and Dina in a movie? My suggestions: David Schwimmer and Reese Witherspoon. But I like those two actors too much. I'd rather see someone I didn't like take Jim's role.

Rough month for beauty queens

The tiaras are falling rapidly. In the last month or so, three beauty pageant winners lost, or came close to losing, their titles. I keep remembering, from the years I watched, the line read for the runner-up for Miss America, "If, for any reason, the winner is unable to fulfill her duties ... " or something along those lines. Nobody cared. She wasn't going down in history. Who would've thunk it would actually be used, barring some freak accident?

But nope, Miss New Jersey USA is the third in that pageant to "violate pageant rules." She's pregnant. That's a no-no, especially, I imagine, during the swimsuit competition. She's expected to deliver in late summer, and hey, she even plans to marry her live-in boyfriend. She said they do plan to wed, but they're taking it "one step at a time." Ummmm, I think she got a little confused over the order in which the steps were supposed to go. I guess dancing's not her talent routine.
Her first runner-up gets to step in and compete in the March 23 pageant in Los Angeles.

Last month, Miss "Girls Gone Wild" Nevada USA was replaced by her runner-up after racy photos of her appeared on the Internet.
Word to pageant wannabes: Avoid cameras off the catwalk!
Also last month, the current Miss USA was allowed to keep her tiara and title when she agreed to go into rehab after she was caught drinking in New York bars (she wasn't 21 yet). I turned on my radio last month, and heard pageant owner Donald "If-he-has-that-much-money-why-doesn't-he-have-better-hair" Trump blustering about how Tara is a good person and she has a good heart so she gets to keep her crown. Hey, that first runner-up should be ticked. She could've claimed the last three months of ... well ... whatever pageant winners do.
Then there was apparently a big brouhaha between Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, I somehow managed to avoid hearing about that silliness.
Makes you nostalgic for good old Bert Parks.

Reality more fascinating, and heart-wrenching

I love the "Law and Order" type of shows ... I don't follow any of them regularly, but I watch CSI, Cold Case Files, etc., whenever I can. This Saturday, I was riveted to CNN, watching the news of the two rescued Missouri boys -- one a little over a week after he was abducted, the second more than four years after he was kidnapped.

It was heard to tear myself away - hearing the older boy's stepfather and mother provide the details of the phone call from the DA's office, the long drive to get there so they could identify the boy and the joy at finding out after so many years that he was alive - he was 11 when he was taken and is 15 now - and coming back home.

Friends and I recalled seeing the movie "I Know My First Name is Steven" in 1989, about Steven Stayner, kidnapped at 7 and reunited with his family 7 years later, when he rescued another boy his captor kidnapped.

I hope the Missouri family finds real peace soon. The initial joy must be somewhat tempered by what they'll have to deal with in the not-so-distant future - the trial, the news coverage, the stories. I pray the kidnapper pleads guilty. He's done enough. The older boy has been deprived of a good portion of the childhood he deserved, and who knows what happened to him in those years. If they could lock the guy up without a trial, maybe this kid could start healing sooner rather than later.
Not likely, though. I doubt the boy's well-being will be his priority.

Driving lessons on life

It's so hard reading about the three teens killed in Freehold yesterday. I couldn't help tearing up several times, thinking of those families, those kids. Our oldest child can get his permit this year. My husband and I were going to teach him ourselves. Now, I'm rethinking just having us teach him. One of the people who posted a response in our online forum wrote of signing up his or her teen for a defensive driving course. I think, after our regular lessons, that's going to be in our teen's near future.
First, I'm going to make my teen read this article from beginning to end. It's not a lecture, it's a devastating lesson that "invincible" teens need to learn. We've already had the "If your driver has anything to drink or any drugs" talk. But the speed at which this car was being driven is believed to be a factor in this accident.
I remember being a teen driver, and the excitement, and the stupidity of myself and of other teen drivers. And I've read of too many fatal accidents lately involving teen drivers speeding, illegally passing or drag racing. It terrifies me, and I can only pray my words, and these articles, sink in with my own kids.

Gov. Corzine, a stand-up kind of guy?

I've heard comments on both sides of whether the one-liners in Gov. Corzine's State of the State speech were appropriate, or funny, for that matter.
Me? I appreciate the breaks in what is usually a long, boring speech. I laughed at his comment about having to learn "more about bear contraception than any of you'd like to know." We get lots of letters from both sides on bear and deer hunts. I sympathize with the guv there. And I like anyone who manages to get "Batman and Robin" into a political speech.

Sure, some of his lines landed with a thud. But he doesn't profess to be another Henny Youngman ("Take Hudson County, Please!"). But I thought the occasional, lighter breaks in a political speech that lasted roughly 45 minutes were welcome.
Some may say the State of the State speech was not the time to be trying out for open-mic night. Or that New Jersey has enough jokes already. But the jokes, good and bad, kept me awake.

Advice to Dwek: Home-school

Failed real estate investor Solomon Dwek wants $37,800 released from his seized assets to pay for private school tuition for his four kids. His lawyer said the family "may face irreparable harm should the children's education be interrupted for a period of time."
That's not sitting well with some of his creditors, who have accused Dwek of defrauding them of hundreds of millions of dollars. Why should he be allowed to send his kids to an expensive private school before his debts are paid off?

They're right -- Dwek lives in Ocean Township, which has a pretty decent public school system. Any formerly well-off family that's hit by a dramatic loss of income from downsizing, career changes, disability or other reasons learns how to cut back. And if Dwek is concerned about their studies of religion, he can always do what those of us with kids in public schools do -- enroll them in separate religious studies classes, Sunday School and the like.

And then there's always the home-schooling option. If he doesn't want his kids in any other school but the yeshiva, then home-school them until he has the means to pay for their tuition again. But there's absolutely no reason the children should be "irreparably" harmed by a break in education. He's got those two other options.

Good doesn't balance out the bad

In today's online update on former, longtime Brick Mayor Joe Scarpelli, his lawyer immediately does the "but look at all the good he did" dance. I'm sick of hearing that every time a public figure winds up being convicted of or, as Scarpelli did, pleads guilty to corruption.

Scarpelli pleaded guilty to accepting $5,000 in bribes from a developer between 1998 and 2003, and for taking a $500 cash payment in 2003. Scarpelli's lawyer called him a "tireless advocate," our story says, and said it is impossible to overlook the good he did during his three decades in township government. "He dedicated himself to improving the lives of those who live and work in Brick."

No, he knowingly took $5,500 over a five-year period. The lawyer said Scarpelli is "truly sorry his own poor judgment brought him here today. But being the man he is, he has accepted full responsibility for his actions."

OK, at least he saved the taxpayers the additional expense of a trial. But come on, can't, just for once, corrupt officials cut the "I made one mistake" nonsense and just say: "I did it and am ready to accept the consequences of my actions" without trying to sugarcoat it by talking about the good they did? That doesn't balance out the bad. The two aren't on the same scale.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a ... lump of something!

Any good theories out there on what this lump 'o junk might be? E.T.'s tennis ball? It's 2 1/4 by 1 1/4 inches, about 13 ounces, and described as a silver-gray, lumpy but smooth, rocklike object with a metallic sheen.
After blowing a hole in the roof of a Freehold Township home and into a second-floor bathroom, it bounced off the tile floor and became embedded in a wall. Ouch!
Sounds like it might be one of the rocks - actually mixtures of rock and metal - that an astronomy professor said about 20 to 50 of rain down from heaven each day. Usually not so close to home, I hope.
All the New York stations were crowding into Western Monmouth yesterday. A friend who was trying to get into town called and asked why all the TV stations were clogging the roadways into Freehold, with helicopters overhead as well. She heard the area was hit by a meteor and wanted to get the scoop. When I told her it was the size of a golf ball, she was slightly annoyed that it was going to cost her a lot more time on the road.
Slow metropolitan news day, I guess.

Mopping in the New Year

I remember when Prince's "1999" album came out in the 80s, the age I would be at the start of the new century seemed so old and so far away. Another in a long line of "If you told me I'd do this someday, I would never have believed it" events that hit since I turned, well, not a spring chicken anymore: I was mopping my kitchen floor when the clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve.

My husband and I took our three youngest (oldest went out with his girlfriend's family, another "no longer a spring chicken" sign) to a party at the fabulous Mura household. But after having 10 little girls for my daughter's birthday slumber party Friday night (they got to sleep at 3), my parents' 50th anniversary luncheon -- very cool, with family coming in who we hadn't seen in awhile -- on Saturday, by Sunday we didn't realize how tired we were.

By 10:30 New Year's Eve, we were droopy, and we left about 11. Shortly after getting home, my husband and our youngest were asleep, my daughters were watching the Hannah Montana New Year's show, or something like that, and I was waiting for them to go to sleep. Not interested in Hannah Montana, I put on Dick Clark in the kitchen. Which is how, at 11:50, I thought to myself, "If I mop the floor tonite, that's one less thing to do tomorrow." When they did the countdown, I looked at the mop and wondered, when did a mop and a bucket of Pine Sol replace noisemakers and a glass of champagne? Sigh.

To Mom and Dad, again, Happy 50th! Of course, they were teens when they married. If my mom's professed age is true, she was a negative number when they tied the knot. Not that they'll see this. At their luncheon, a longtime friend of my folks mentioned my blog to my Dad. Dad's answer: "I've never seen it."
Sigh.

A case a lawyer won't even take on. I hope.

I didn't think I'd ever see it, but it looks like there's a case that no self-respecting lawyer would take on. A litigant is representing himself, and I'm taking it on faith that he must've contacted some attorneys to try and get help. George Allen Ward, a crack dealer in jail in Virginia serving a 200-month sentence, is suing Arm & Hammer and its parent company for $425 million. His complaint? Baking soda boxes don't have warning labels that say something like "Use of this product with illegal drugs could result in getting in trouble with the law." His argument is that the manufacturer knows its product is used to manufacture crack cocaine and that they're making quite a financial gain from it. So Arm and Hammer should add a warning that it's illegal to use this product with illegal drugs.
The plaintiff must have been high when he came up with that one.
Fortunately, he lost the first round. So he's appealing. My favorite line - in his own words - in his appeal: "I feel as if I was forewarned by this company that I'd never used this product like I was charged with." Yeah, right.
I just hope no lawyer starts thinking "settlement dollars" and jumps on board.