Diner beware

I'm boycotting one of my favorite restaurants - one my family has been going to regularly since it opened a few years back. We're good customers - noisy, but pretty good natured and easy to please. And this is a noisy restaurant, so we don't stick out.

About a year or so ago, I thought our bill was high and saw that a tip had already been added in. This was the first time I had seen the restaurant do that. The waiter said they started adding them on for parties of six or more. OK, they had never done that, and my husband, children and I always make a party of six, but that was fine. I felt he should've pointed it out when he handed me the bill.

We went back to the restaurant shortly after that, again with more than the six in the party, but no tip was added. I asked the waiter about it, and he said, "Oh, we don't really do that." Over the last year, I've always checked (we've got our six, and we usually go with my parents, my uncle, my mother-in-law, my brother's family or a combination of them). No tips were ever added.

We went to the restaurant again two weeks ago for my husband's birthday. We had a party of 13, five of them young children. By the end of dinner, the kids, especially my 3-year-old, were beyond restless. It was time to get them home. I said I'd put the bill on my credit card, just looked at the total of $180-something and handed the card over. When the waiter brought it back, I signed it and handed him $40 in cash for a tip.

The next day, I started thinking about it. We all pretty much stuck with sandwiches. There was only one appetizer and our drink bill didn't amount to much. I stopped in on my way home, and the maitre d' said that, no, they wouldn't have added on a tip, but he'd ask the manager.

The manager found our waiter and asked if he had, and the waiter said that yes, he had. Sorry, nothing they could do about it, the manager said. I just tipped about $70 for a bill of about $150. The manager insisted that it's noted on the menu (it is), that they always add a tip on for parties of six or more (they don't) and chastised me for not reading the bill more closely.
I usually do, and next time my little one is rarin' to go, somebody else at my table will have to. But it won't be at that restaurant. I once worked in a restaurant where we had the option of adding tips to bills that were over a certain amount. But if we did, we told the patrons that a 15 percent gratuity had been added on. If the policy's selectively enforced, they should tell you when they do.

Hell hath no fury like a woman with a long memory

Talk about not letting go! An article out of Charlotte, N.C. , tells of a nurse who was charged with murdering a patient in the office where she worked. The motive? She believed the patient had stolen her boyfriend in high school 30 years earlier.
And get this: The patient was in there for a facelift! That must've added fuel to the fire, huh? She was also in for fat grafts to her lips and laser therapy on her eyelids and facial scars. She went into respiratory arrest in the recovery room, and her death was blamed on a lack of oxygen to the brain.
But five years later, detectives testify they believe the nurse, Sally Jordan Hill, now 50, poisoned the patient, Sandra Baker Joyner, by injecting her with a powerful painkiller, then turning off an alarm that would have alerted other nurses. Two people in the plastic surgeon's office recalled hearing Hill say that Joyner had stolen her high school boyfriend.
I'd love to see the guy all this was over. Was he worth it?
Everyone probably has some type of grudge hidden inside them. Time usually wears it down. While it may flare up a little bit by contact with or mention of the "grudgee," you generally get over it. But I guess you can never underestimate the grudge-retaining power of a 15-year-old girl with a broken heart.

Boys will be boys

You've got to love little boys; they keep you on your toes. Take Robert Moore. When he puts his mind to something, there's no stopping him. On Saturday night, the 3-year-old from Wisconsin was shopping with his grandmother when she let him try to win a SpongeBob SquarePants doll out of a vending machine. When he failed to capture it with the crane, his grandmother said she'd win him one.

Then she turned her back on him while she got another dollar from her purse. Big mistake!
Robert really, REALLY wanted that SpongeBob. So he went in after it. His grandmother was a little freaked out when she couldn't find him, only to hear an "I'm in here" and spotting him INSIDE the vending machine.

Store employees didn't have a key, so they called the fire department. The firemen gave Robert a screwdriver. He piled up a bunch of stuffed animals and climbed on them, then used the screwdriver to open the latch and free himself. He went home safely, but articles say he went home sans SpongeBob. Bummer.

I have a 3-year-old boy, and when I saw the photo of Robert, I thought, "Yeah, he'd do that." They're interesting creatures, aren't they?

There's definitely something to that "Boys will be boys" phrase.

They're supposed to cut more, not spend more!

While some of the state panels studying ways to reduce our property taxes seem to be searching for ways to do nothing, the panel studying school funding is actually doing something. They're looking to spend more money!
Those boneheads got it backward. They're supposed to be finding ways to REDUCE taxes. Instead, they want to fix the inequities of school spending by spending more. Middle-income districts are hurting - they're supporting the Abbott districts and ratcheting up local property taxes while finding ways to keep their own spending in check. The Abbott districts - which haven't been known for their frugality as they spend money on elaborate schools (with their large atria and the like that will cost a fortune more in the added cost to heat and cool those wide open areas), limo rides for school officials, hordes of "consultants" and putting money toward athletic facilities and pools - spend an "adequate" amount, the state says. The wealthy districts also spend an adequate amount, as their taxpayers pony up the extra money.
So the state is talking about bringing the middle-income districts up to the others. I'm from a middle-income household in a middle-income district. We'd LOVE the money the other districts have. But we know it's coming from our pockets already, and the additional money will come from our pockets. The state has to figure out how to cut spending in those other districts, not just pour more money out.

Maybe it's the parents who need coaches

Are you ready for some football? It's a good day to be a Giants' fan, but that's not what I'm talking about. The defeat of Dallas at Dallas is sweet, but the football story that caught my attention was the brief we had on page 5 Tuesday: "Dad pulls gun on his son's football coach."
A 40-year-old Philadelphia father was upset because his son wasn't getting enough playing time. This was for a team of 6- and 7-year-olds. Can you imagine? The kids were right there.
I've coached soccer and basketball, up to third grade. At that age, it should just be about fun, learning the game and sportsmanship. In later years, the sports will get more aggressive and competitive, but the primary grades shouldn't have that pressure, from coaches or from parents. I've been fortunate. My kids' coaches (besides me and my husband) have all been fair, upbeat and positive. I know there are some lousy coaches out there, but there are even lousier parents. We've all seen them and have been mortified by their behavior. If they're not happy, they should get out there and do some coaching themselves.

A shiver down every parent's spine

An 18-year-old kid's dead, shot in the head in broad daylight on Wednesday morning in Asbury Park, a block away from the Middle School. The county prosecutor's office says kids have easy access to guns, and neighbors say too many young people -- and they're not just talking about gangs -- are too quick to settle disputes with their guns. A few days before Tylik Pugh was shot, two other young adults were struck by bullets.
It's just terrifying, and so very, very sad.
What can be done to turn this mindset around? Who has to do it? The cops are overwhelmed just trying to keep a handle on it. How many deaths will it take before someone - anyone - comes up with a way to end this escalating violence and the increasing I'll- shoot-you-before-you-shoot-me attitude?

Tag: You're It! -- Or not.

Check out the story of the Massachusetts school that's gone way overboard in protecting children. Now they can't play "tag" during recess. Tag. Come on. What's next, "Duck, Duck, Goose''?

Kids at elementary schools around Attleboro, just south of Boston, were told a few years ago that they couldn't play dodgeball anymore because it was "exclusionary and dangerous." OK, maybe some of the kids don't know how hard they throw ... that's why there are playground monitors, right?
Now the folks at the Willett Elementary School also banned tag and touch football during recess, because they're afraid a kid's going to fall down, get hurt and sue the school. The principal said that recess is "a time when accidents can happen." So is every other minute of the day.

One parent said her son feels safer because of this rule. That kid probably goes to school wrapped in foam rubber in case he falls down. She's got to beef up that boy a little. If he's afraid of playing tag, he can sit and watch. "Feels safer" because no one can play tag? That's nuts.
Check out the "Spoil sports" article in today's paper, or online at:
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/P/PLAYGROUND_TAG_BAN?SITE=NJASB&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2006-10-18-17-32-58

Do 380 people really need a separate government?

Ship Bottom, population 1,418 as of July 2004, is considering either renovating its municipal buildings or building a new one for $3.3 million. That comes to about $2,325 per person. Down the boulevard on Long Beach Island in Harvey Cedars, population 380, there's talk of adding on to the municipal building. At the north end of Long Beach Island, Barnegat Light, population 815, is completing renovations to its new municipal offices at the former Coast Guard facility.
From the top of Long Beach Island to the bottom, there are about 9,000 residents in six municipalities. That's crazy. It's time for those towns to start consolidating services as a leadup to a full consolidation. There would still be 12 Ocean County municipalities much larger than a combined Long Beach Island.

Outrageous water bills in Howell

How high is your water bill? Not as high, I hope, as some of the New Jersey-American Water Co. users in Howell.
Signs have been sprouting from lawns there complaining about residential water and sewer bills. I can't blame 'em ... one guy said his quarterly bill came to $1,800. That's $7,200 a year! That must be especially painful now, as those lush lawns lose the battle of the elements.
My monthly water bill was around $40. Then teenager-showerism took over. The boy who would only go kicking and screaming, and then in-and-out with nary a smudge off the bar of soap, has discovered the 30-minute shower.
When my water bill doubled, I calmly explained how he was only going to get so clean, and that same level of cleanliness could be accomplished in about five minutes.
I feel for those people in Howell, especially the new homeowners whose water and sewer bills are linked and who were told by the homebuilders to soak their lawns. They got soaked, all right.
What are you paying for water?

Driving me crazy

I took my oldest out for his first driving lesson on Sunday. At least he did better than I did. I learned on a stick shift and did nothing but stall out for 15 minutes while my father very patiently (I was the fourth of five kids) said, "Try again." "Try again." "Try again." The whole time, my friend Jane sat on our porch cracking up.
My 15-year-old first thought it would be OK to bring a few friends to sit in the back seat. That got shot down pretty quickly. Then we went to a big empty parking lot where I let him cruise around for about 10 minutes in my minivan. My whiplash is mild. And he now understands that power steering doesn't mean you can "will" the car to turn. "Hand-over-hand, hand-over-hand, HAND-OVER-HAND!" I screamed, as he tried to make a full left turn with his hands still at 10 and 2. "Hit the brakes, hit the brakes, HIT THE BRAKES!!!" was my next motherly suggestion. He took it just in time, before we went out on the street.
I think I'll call my dad for help. He's an ol' pro at this.
I'm also open to suggestions. I have a feeling "Call a driving school" will be high on the list.

A Gay time on Comedy Central

Finishing up my nightly rounds a little later than usual last night, I had Comedy Central on while I got set up for the morning. On the Colbert Report, 4th District Democratic candidate Carol Gay, who is challenging Rep. Chris Smith, was one of the guests. I hope she was forewarned.
I only caught a bit of it, with Colbert suggesting some campaign slogans along the lines of "Go Gay in New Jersey."
It's not exactly "Meet the Press," but didn't Bill Clinton get a big boost from appearing on a late night talk show?
The show airs again today at 2:30 and 8:30 p.m.

How pricey could plastic be?

So the N.J. Lottery operator with a bid nearly $32 million higher than its competitor got the contract because it is "more convenient." Representatives for the low bidder, Scientific Games, said the state's evaluation committee exaggerated its weaknesses while ignoring the problems (and obviously, the price) of GTech, which bid $106.7 million to Scientific's $75 million. Former state Attorney General John J. Farmer Jr. is going to testify on behalf of Scientific Games about the appearance of impropriety.

One of the things Scientific Games was criticized for was its somewhat larger terminal size. But a company lawyer pointed out that any lost counter space could be offset with different models of the plastic racks for instant tickets.
"If the state had to pay an additional cost for plastic instant-ticket dispensers, do you think it would cost $32 million?" she wanted to know.
She must not have been reading the state news in the last half decade or so. With New Jersey, $32 million for plastic dispensers -- for a connected contractor -- wouldn't surprise me at all.

Letttuce be wary of our foods

OK, I could deal with the spinach. When a couple hundred people were sickened by the e-coli bacteria traced to spinach, I was OK with that. I'm big on veggies, but I can live without spinach as long as I have all the others.

Now health officials are concerned about lettuce. Come on! How's a person supposed to battle the bulge? Are they going to say broccoli's dangerous? How about cauliflower and carrots? If they go after more vegetables, I'm throwing in the towel and bringing out my post-maternity clothes. Heck, maybe I'll even bring out the maternity clothes if I didn't give them all away.

I'm eating my lettuce anyway. The package says it's triple washed, I'll make it quadruple washed. Maybe I'll even boil it!

Trekkies are scary people

The 78-inch model of the Starship Enterprise used in some of the shows in the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and the "Star Trek Generations" series was expected to bring in $25,000 to $35,000.

Nope. It sold for $576,000. FIVE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS! For that price, it should be big enough to live in. Apparently, Christie's auction house underestimates the devotion of the true Trekkie.

In my junior year of college, we'd regularly gather with a group from our hallway -- usually in Ed & Ralph's room, they had the best TV -- and we'd watch Star Trek at midnight. A few times, we even tried to make beer games out of the show. For example, one time everybody had to drink everytime somebody yelled "Spock!" Hey, it was college.

A few of the guys, within the first few seconds, could name which season the show was from and usually the title of the episode. My roommates and I thought that was a little overly devoted. But to spend what you'd pay for a pretty nice house on a 6-1/2 foot model spaceship makes them look like amateurs.

Outsource N.J. government to another state

The more I hear about state legislators' efforts to reduce property taxes, the more I think we should just outsource the whole state government to another state, where the legislators get it right. Or at least, where they get it better. That would open it up to 49 other states.

One of the latest songs they're tap dancing to is possibly allowing municipalities to establish local sales tax. Of course, they won't commit to cutting the state sales tax, which is already at the top of the charts. And while municipalities would set up local sales taxes to bring in more money, do you think it'll cut your tax bill? Probably not, or at least not for long. Then they'll put the flip side of their album, "Spend, spend, spend" on with their crooning to the classic: "We can't control the rapidly rising fixed costs of salaries and benefits."

In the end, we'll only be paying more. Which is why I think we need to turn it over to another state's legislators. Ours can't face the real music - that their spending habits are the problem.

What a waste

I heard someone on the radio this morning talking about how the Newark school district throws out a lot of unused food and unopened milk cartons every day after the kids have eaten. That's one Abbott waste that sickens me; not because of the money but because of the needless waste. Can't they donate what they don't use to a soup kitchen, or allow children to take the extra food home? All those unopened cartons of milk just tossed in the trash. That's horrible.

A friend worked at an Abbott district's summer program and said the same thing happened there. Plates were made up with a sandwich, a piece of fruit and a carton of milk. Whatever didn't get eaten got tossed in the trash, full plates still covered by plastic wrap.
I don't mind feeding the children in those districts ... it's not about the money ... but why toss what they don't use on a daily basis?

I just can't stand the idea of all that perfectly good food going into the trash, but I was told that they have to throw it out. Why? Keep them in the refrigerators until the exact number of children who need food that day is determined. If it's because the districts don't want to get in trouble if the food goes bad, give the cafeteria workers a stamp to mark the date the plate was put together, or a date that it must be eaten by. The milk is probably already marked. Surely that's better than just throwing it out.